Most Recent Posts
*** There are multiple ways of doing a fourth step inventory. I try to follow the instructions in the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” to the best of my understanding. This is also how I mentor people. The point of step 4 is to uncover the things in our lives that cause us troubles and end up sending us back to food abuse.***
“Taking time to look at how I have been treated and how I have treated others is hard – stuffing my feelings is hard”
(Christina H – 06 – Simple But Not Easy)
The purpose of taking an inventory is meant to be a fact-finding and fact-facing process. It is not meant to demoralize an individual. As a person progresses through their inventory I have observed that they become more and more uncomfortable with the work. I’m not sure there is a way to get around it, I believe we have to accept that this is not going to be comfortable. We are looking at the “yuck” of our lives and how it keeps dragging us down, and we are doing this without food. This is not going to be fun, but it is necessary.
To combat this challenging period I encourage you to keep a level head, touch base with others who have completed their inventory, resist the urge to procrastinate, grab a pen and get it done.
To recap steps 1,2 and 3 – I have agreed that I can’t manage my food and that I am obstinately doing what I want which is putting myself at odds with the people around me.
I am going to show you how I complete an inventory. It may seem like I am all about the format, but that isn’t the case. It is the concepts that we take away from our inventory that is most important. The pictures are a visual example.
On page 64, we find that we will start with the “Resentments” first. They explain that this is the “number one” offender,
Definitions of Resentment
Latin – Sentire meaning “to feel”. The prefix “re” means again or back. So the first definition we have is “to feel again”
Merriam-Webster – a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury
Google – bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
Cambridge Dictionary – a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like.
Most people understand the word as anger, but for the purpose of the inventory, let’s expand to include repeated feelings of shame, sadness, anxiety … any feeling really. Even positive feelings if they are causing trouble in our lives.
I have observed some of the people I work with do not feel they carry resentment. I ask them what areas of their lives are the most troublesome and/or uncomfortable?
Instructions – We work down the page please, not across.
Column 1 – this list is for the people, institutions or principles we are angry at, feel anxious/sad/shameful/uncomfortable or have feelings that keep on resurfacing. I find it helpful to start with the people closest to me (family and friends) and then go outward from there (co-workers, people I volunteer with, other drivers, customer service staff). Then I move to institutions (examples include the banking system, government and health care). Finally I list principles (examples of principles on my list are I’m never going to succeed, Fat = Ugly and I’m not good enough).
(Click on images for a close up.)
Column 2 is a list of why the people, institutions or principles are on column 1. Don’t over think it. Just write down high level points. Please use point form as much as possible. Only you need to understand what you write in this column. This section should not be a novel or else you risk getting lost in the problem instead of fact-finding. If you look at the example in the Big Book on page 65 one example uses less than 20 words to express concern about a guy who is trying to steal the writer’s job and wife, and who told the writer’s wife that her husband was cheating on her. I used more words to describe the example for you here than was actually needed to convey the “why” in the book.
Column 3 is looking at how these causes/resentments negatively affect the person taking the inventory. They are usually covered by one or more of the following. In my notebook I use abbreviations and note them after the = below.
- Self-esteem = SE (confidence or satisfaction in oneself)
- Security = S (the book provides examples of financial security, but I also include emotional security)
- Ambitions = A (the ardent desire for rank, fame, or power and/or desire to achieve a particular end)
- Personal relations = PR (relationship with the person/thing I have the resentment towards or other people/things as a result of the resentment)
- Sex relations = SR (either my sexual relationship with the person listed in column 1 or they negatively impacted my intimate relationship with my partner)
I encourage people to schedule 2 or 3 appointments with their inventory for about 15 to 30 minutes each to do these first three columns. The idea is to hit the most troublesome items. I recommend these appointments be scheduled on consecutive days and that they start with a moment or two to center themselves. The people I sponsor are always amazed how much they get written when they spend even 10 minutes on the project. Most people I work with substantially complete the first three columns in 2 – 4 days. I give you this as a goal, but it could take longer if you carry a lot of resentment. Procrastination is not a good reason for it to take longer.
The assurance I offer before I end this post is to not worry if you miss something. Everyone does their first go round for sure. I have often found that items from the next columns, or the fear and conduct inventories stir up memories and feelings. I just add it to my list and treat it the same as the other stuff.
This is not a one and done process, as part of maintaining our recovery and growing our spiritual experience, we see the inventory process again at Step 10.
Nike said it best – Just do it! So please start writing your inventory.
Leave Comment