24 – Step 4 – Resentments Columns 1, 2 & 3

“Taking time to look at how I have been treated and how I have treated others is hard – stuffing my feelings is hard” 

(Christina H – 06 – Simple But Not Easy)


✨ Guiding Statement

Note: There are many approaches to completing a Fourth Step inventory. I choose to follow the instructions outlined in the book Alcoholics Anonymous to the best of my understanding, and this is the method I use when mentoring others. The purpose of Step 4 is to uncover the patterns, resentments, fears, and behaviors that create turmoil in our lives—and ultimately lead us back to food abuse. This step is about facing truth with courage and compassion.


🧭 Why We Do This

The purpose of taking an inventory is to engage in a fact-finding and fact-facing process. It’s not meant to demoralize anyone. As people progress through their inventory, I’ve observed that discomfort tends to increase. I don’t think there’s a way around it—we have to accept that this work won’t be comfortable.

We’re looking at the “yuck” in our lives—the things that drag us down—and we’re doing it without food. It’s not fun, but it’s necessary.

To navigate this challenging period, I encourage you to:

  • Remember its fact facing, not a tool to beat yourself up
  • Stay connected with others who’ve completed their inventory
  • Resist the urge to procrastinate
  • Grab a pen and get it done

🔁 Recap of Steps 1–3

By now, we’ve acknowledged that:

  • We can’t manage our food
  • We’ve been obstinately doing what we want
  • That behavior puts us at odds with others

🧾 How I Do the Inventory

I’ll walk you through how I complete an inventory. While it may seem like I’m focused on format, the format itself isn’t the point—it’s simply a tool that helps us lay things out clearly and spot repeated patterns. What truly matters are the concepts we uncover through the process. I’ve included visual examples to help guide you along the way.

🔍 Starting with Resentments

On page 64 of the Big Book, we’re instructed to begin with resentments. It’s described as the “number one” offender.

📚 Definitions of Resentment

  • Latin: Sentire = “to feel”; re = “again” → “to feel again”
  • Merriam-Webster: A feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury
  • Google: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly
  • Cambridge Dictionary: A feeling of anger because you’ve been forced to accept something you do not like

Most people associate resentment with anger. But for the purpose of inventory, let’s expand that to include repeated feelings of shame, sadness, anxiety—any recurring emotion. Even positive feelings, if they’re causing trouble in our lives.

Some people I work with say they don’t carry resentment. In those cases, I ask:
What areas of your life feel most troublesome or uncomfortable?


🧱 Instructions: Work Down the Page, Not Across

📌 Column 1: Who or What

List the people, institutions, or principles that trigger recurring feelings—anger, anxiety, sadness, shame, discomfort. Start close to home (family, friends), then move outward (co-workers, volunteers, other drivers, customer service staff). Then list institutions (e.g., banking system, government, healthcare). Finally, list principles (e.g., “I’m never going to succeed,” “Fat = Ugly,” “I’m not good enough”).

📌 Column 2: Why

Why are these people, institutions, or principles on your list? Don’t overthink it—just jot down high-level points. Use bullet form. Only you need to understand what you write. Keep it short and factual.
For example, the Big Book (page 65) describes a man who’s trying to steal someone’s job and wife, and who told the wife her husband was cheating. That entire resentment is described in fewer than 20 words.

📌 Column 3: How It Affects Me

This column explores how the resentment impacts you. Use abbreviations to keep it simple:

 

⏰ Scheduling Inventory Time

I encourage people to schedule 2–3 short appointments with their inventory—15 to 30 minutes each. Focus on the most troublesome items. Try to do these on consecutive days, starting with a moment to center yourself.

People I sponsor are often amazed at how much they write in just 10 minutes. Most complete the first three columns in 2–4 days. That’s a goal—not a rule. If you carry a lot of resentment, it may take longer. But procrastination isn’t a valid reason to delay.

🧘 Final Encouragement

Don’t worry if you miss something. Everyone does on their first pass. Sometimes the fear and conduct inventory sheets will stir up new memories and feelings. Just add them to your list and treat them the same.

This isn’t a one-and-done process. As part of maintaining recovery and growing spiritually, we revisit inventory again in Step 10.

Nike said it best:
Just do it.
So please—start writing your inventory.

Leave Comment