If you’re convinced that you’re a compulsive eater—or at least that, at this moment, you don’t have another solution—then you’re at Step Three.
In my post 18 – Being convinced ... we explored Step Three through the A-B-C statements found on page 60 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Step Three begins when I accept the following truths:
- I am compulsive with food and cannot manage it.
- No human power can solve my issues with food.
- A Higher Power of my own understanding can—and will—if I actively seek it.
The book then introduces concepts that require a shift in attitude. I had to accept that I could no longer play the role of “the boss” in my life. Instead, I needed to rely on a Higher Power. I also had to face some hard truths: my behavior was causing me pain and dissatisfaction. That pain drove me to seek relief—and my go-to solution was abusing food.
🗣 Side Note: I often hear people in meetings describe themselves as emotional eaters. Me too! I ate when I was sad, angry, anxious, or stressed. I also ate when I was bored or even happy. If I had an emotion—any emotion—I ate.
🙏 The Step Three Prayer
Step Three is about making a commitment: to stop playing “the boss,” to believe in a power greater than myself, and to live a life centered around that power—not around me.
Here is the Step Three Prayer from the Big Book:
“God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life.
May I do Thy will always.”
The book encourages us to use our own words, as long as we express the same sentiments. When I work with someone, I often invite them to write their own version. The key is to express these ideas sincerely and without reservation.
💡 Core Sentiments of the Prayer
- Surrender: Offering myself to my understanding of a Higher Power.
- Relief from self-will: Letting go of self-will (the tendency to stubbornly do what I want, regardless of others).
- Victory for service: Overcoming my difficulties so I can help other compulsive eaters who are still suffering.
My sponsor, LC, describes the Step Three Prayer as a commitment to completing the rest of the steps. It’s not just a moment of reflection—it’s a launchpad.
We’re encouraged to make this commitment with someone we trust, someone who understands what we’re trying to do. Most of the people I mentor choose to make their Step Three commitment with me, but others have chosen their spouse or spiritual leader.
⚠️ Warning: Don’t Stall
Here’s something I’ve seen time and again: after making the Step Three commitment, people feel so good about starting that they stall on the inventory process (Step Four). Before long, they find themselves back in their compulsion.
It’s crucial to remember: Step Three is a commitment to continue. On page 63, the Big Book says:
“This is only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect—sometimes a very great one—is felt at once.”
But it doesn’t end there. The next paragraph begins:
“Next, we launched out on a course of vigorous action…”
So don’t stop just because you feel good. That feeling is a signpost, not a destination. The next instruction is clear: launch into vigorous action. There’s no room—or time—for dilly-dallying.
💬 Words to Carry With You
As you step forward in your recovery journey, let these reminders anchor your commitment:
- “The path to success is to take massive, determined actions.” – Tony Robbins
(A reminder that success demands bold movement.)
- “It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.” – Rumi
(A reflection on the sacred solitude of personal growth.)
- “Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” – Michael Jordan
(A challenge to be the one who makes it happen.)
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