A Foundational Exercise from the Big Book
An exercise I like to work on with the people I sponsor comes from the A-B-C statements on page 60 of the Big Book:
“Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him…”
Let’s explore how these ideas apply to compulsive eating.
(a) That We Were Compulsive with Food and Could Not Manage Our Own Lives
Reflect on these questions to deepen your understanding:
- How have I abused food?
- Describe how my physical reaction is so strong that I cannot consistently stop abusing food, even when I want to.
- Describe times when my brain obsessively thinks about food.
- How does food cause problems in my life? (e.g., stealing food, stealing money, shameful feelings)
- Have I ever been able to consistently manage my food and the way it affects my life?
This step is about honesty. If you find that food has consistently disrupted your life and that your attempts to control it have failed, you may be ready to move forward.
(b) That Probably No Human Power Could Have Relieved Our Compulsive Eating
Now consider the limits of human solutions:
- Make a list of the ways you have tried to manage food and food behaviors. Have any of these worked consistently or long-term?
- Make a list of the ways other people have tried to manage your food and food behaviors—both helpful and unhelpful. Have any of these worked?
- Have you considered that diet programs are human-powered? Have they worked consistently or only short-term?
This step invites you to recognize that willpower, advice, and external control may not be enough to overcome compulsive eating.
(c) That God (or a higher Power) Could and Would If Sought
This is where willingness begins:
- Do I believe—or am I even willing to believe—that there is a power greater than myself?
- Do I believe—or am I willing to believe—that this power cares enough about my food abuse to remove my addiction?
- The statement says “if sought,” not “if found.” Just notice that difference. Write about it if you wish.
This step doesn’t require certainty—just openness. Seeking is the action. Belief can grow from there.
Are You Convinced?
If you are convinced that you are a compulsive eater—or at least that at this moment you do not have an alternative—then you are at Step Three.
If you are not convinced, OA might not be for you. And that’s okay.
My communication style and the way I describe the illness may not resonate with everyone. Perhaps there are other options you’d like to try. Maybe you’re not ready to believe you’re addicted to food, or you’re unwilling to concede there is a higher power.
If OA Isn’t for You Right Now
If it’s my communication style, I encourage you to check out OA podcasts and try a few different meetings. OA is open to anyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Allow yourself time to investigate, while keeping in mind that this is a program of action.
Explore other options available for people who struggle with food. Maybe you have food troubles, but you’re not a compulsive eater.
If you decide OA is not for you, please know the door is always open if you change your mind.
What’s Next
The rest of my posts will focus on how to work through the Twelve Steps and share my story of recovery from compulsive eating. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.
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21 – Step 3 Prayer – OA Dandelion
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