Step 2 – Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Do I continue to abuse food or do I accept that I need a higher power? The choice should be easy, but it isn’t.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I believe that I am addicted to certain foods and/or behaviors and abuse it/them?
- Do I agree that my body has a physical reaction so strong that I can not consistently stop abusing when I want to?
- Do I believe that my real problem is my brain’s obsessive thinking about food?
If you answered yes, the choice should be “I’ll do anything!”. Yet we have a number of people attending meetings who cannot stay clean, and newcomers who attend a few meetings and never come back. Why?
I believe the roadblock starts with the variance between the definition of powerless provided in the Big Book versus what we actually believe. There are more other roadblocks, but let’s start here.
Many say they are powerless in the same sense that a typical eater sometimes cannot say no. We even see how a typical eater can experience a form of the physical addictive reaction to highly palliative foods and think we are like them. When we agree to powerlessness on that level and are like typical eaters the obsession is minimized to a lack of self-discipline. We think we can just pick up the new diet and be just fine, and when we aren’t fine we fault a lack of willpower. The problem is we are not like typical eaters so this definition of powerless is not enough.
In the Big Book, the chapter “More About Alcoholism” opens with the statement that essentially says most of us have been unwilling to admit to the true nature of our addiction. That we do not want to be different. We keep trying to prove we are the same, therefore, chasing diets and food fads hoping something will work. “The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”
In OA we talk about conceding our powerlessness to our innermost selves. I feel like this means I am accepting that my brain does not work the way it should where food is concerned. That it is killing me by shortening my life by inches and stealing my joy.
It is not enough to think we were like the typical eater and just need more willpower. We need to accept that where food was concerned we were not typical. Step 2 says “restored to sanity”, so where food is concerned I accept I am insane.
In OA you will often hear people describe insanity as doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Can you describe your actions that way?
In January of 1999 my sponsor, TS, told me to write my conception of a higher power and to use that conception while I did the rest of the steps. I didn’t have to like it, I just had to try it with an open mind.
It is a simple concept, but not easy to implement. It worked for me, and I have seen it work for others too. I believe it can work for anyone.
The next few posts will be on the roadblocks be put up around the conception of a higher power.
Leave Comment