Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 4 is about acknowledging and dissecting past hurts, uncovering habits that steal joy, and reframing how we see those who have hurt us. Step 5, then, is about casting these things out—fully and completely. This post is particularly for those who struggle or shy away from the idea of sharing their inventories out loud.
Many people hesitate to admit their inventory out loud. I observe that it is shame that holds them back, or they’ve had painful experiences where trust was broken. They fear that saying the words aloud will make their past mistakes feel even heavier—or worse, be held against them.
I didn’t struggle with this myself. With my first inventory—the one where I answered every question in the OA 12 & 12—I did have a few things I didn’t want to admit. But I shared them anyway. As a people-pleaser by nature, I probably did it for the sake of doing it “right.” It never occurred to me to hold anything back.
Step 5 takes courage.
It’s hard enough to face old wounds. Harder still to reframe the painful moments of the past. And then—just when it seems like enough—this step asks us to say it all out loud to another person.
If you’re agnostic or atheist, the capital “G” in God might sting. If you carry deep shame, the thought of speaking these truths might feel unbearable.
I understand the difficulty. But I encourage you to do it anyway.
Why? Because perspective changes everything.
Early in recovery, I still carried old ideas and judgments about my inventory. It was only through sharing it with another person that I gained a new perspective. That’s where I learned true honesty—and received the same in return.
If I hadn’t experienced that shift, I don’t think I would have maintained recovery from my food addiction. I might have treated OA like another diet club or left altogether.
The Big Book is clear:
“We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient.” — Pg. 72
It’s not enough to simply write these things down. They have to be spoken. They have to be let go.
At the start of this post, I mentioned that people hesitate to share their inventory because they still carry shame. They’ve uncovered the truth. They’ve taken steps toward reframing it.
Yet, the shame lingers.
It’s time to cast it out.
This step is pivotal.
It shifts us into recovery, and that freedom comes from admitting our struggles out loud.
My next post is about how to pick the right person to share in this deeply intimate and life-changing step toward recovery.
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