Step 4 is my favorite step to work on with the people I sponsor. Most people who have been around the rooms think I am weird. I am completely fine with that.
The point of doing an inventory is to uncover our self-will and clearly see the negative impact it has on our lives. It is an honest look at our attitudes and behaviors, not an opportunity to shame and blame ourselves. Once we can identify the thoughts, attitudes and behaviors that put us in conflict with people and the world around us, we will have the ability to make changes.
“Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.” (pages 63/64 Alcoholics Anonymous)
Notice we are given two choices on when to start “Next” and “at once”.
Definition Launched – start or set in motion
Definition Vigorous – characterized by or involving physical strength, effort, or energy
Definition Strenuous – requiring or using great exertion.
I have observed that many people start writing their inventories and either find the task overwhelming or lose momentum and stop. Sadly, I have also observed that it does not take long for them to start abusing food again.
My first sponsor, TS, had me work through the questions in the book “The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous”, nicknamed The OA 12&12. There were about 105 questions in the book, and she encouraged me to answer all of them. The inventory is meant to be a written exercise, so I started writing my answers. Around question 20 I “couldn’t find the time” to answer questions all the time, so I started procrastinating. After about 3 weeks of no progress TS gently told me that she was concerned I would start abusing food again if I didn’t get it done.
I took her seriously and I booked time with her to share my inventory 2 weeks from that day to give myself a deadline. I wasn’t finished answering the questions by the time we met, but I was pretty close. As it turns out, when you have 105 long answers to the questions, it takes a long time to give the inventory away. I gave away half my inventory one week, then had a week until our next appointment to finish answering the rest of the questions.
A few months later I was working with LC, and he taught me how to do an inventory following the instructions in the Big Book. I found this format simple, to the point and sustainable. My first experience with the OA 12&12 had been eye opening, and I was definitely in recovery, but I could see I would not likely answer all those questions again.
There are 3 inventories to write up Resentments, Fears and Sex Conduct. There are numerous forms developed by members which are free to download and print as well as some that can be filled out online and either saved or printed depending on your preference. My favorites sheets are found on OABigBook.info and BigBookForDummies.com.
I have a habit of printing off sheets and losing them, so now I tend to write up my inventories using a coil bound notebook.
One of the people I sponsor uses the OA Big Book sheets but doesn’t follow the columns. Her writing is upside down and sideways on the paper. Instead of 3 resentments on a page, she might have 10. She has long term recovery.
Another woman I sponsor uses a completely different format where the defects are listed on one side of the page and the assets on the other. She likes it because she has a visual goal to achieve. She has long term recovery.
Over the next few posts, I will walk through each of the columns using a notebook and share pictures of the progression so readers will have a concrete example to follow. I encourage you not to get stuck on the format. My own experience of recovering using the questions in the OA 12&12, as well as the two women I sponsor show that recovery is not in format. We need to be open to seeing the negative patterns in our lives. We need to face and get rid of the stuff that sends us back to food.
I encourage you to visit the two sites above, pick one and download the sheets, or get a coil bound notebook (I use 8 ½ X 11 because of how big I print). Make sure you have access to some good pens or pencils. A ruler to draw lines is optional. Set a time and place where you won’t be interrupted (I try to schedule myself 15-30 minutes a session). Blast off!
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