Why all this talk about God/HP/god?
This is why. I believe the steps do not work for people who do not believe in the definition of the two-fold illness because that person will have no impetus to follow through on the rest of the steps.
The chapter “How It Works” opens with the statement that “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path…”
If I am generally a typical person with food, when I need to address a particular behavior or need to lose/gain weight, I will just set my mind to it, and I will get it done. It might be tough, but I will be able to do it.
I have not been able to do that consistently. I do not qualify myself as typical.
I was at the end of my best options, and I did not want to try another diet program because I knew in my heart it would not work anyways. I was done with the other choices. I didn’t want to keep trying and I didn’t have enough money to do so anyways.
The passage in the book continues with the statement “Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.”
If I do not believe that I have the two-fold addiction, I will not throw myself at this possible solution. If I like the meetings and think the people are nice, I might hang around and dabble with the steps, I might even get a sponsor, but I won’t actually dig to the root of my problem.
Simple But Not Easy
“Step 1 – Powerless” and “Step 2 – Solution” are simple concepts. Steps 3 to 12 are not easy.
“How It Works” continues with statements like “go to any lengths”, “let go absolutely” and “half measures availed us nothing” before sharing the Twelve Steps as the program of recovery.
You might hear people say “there are no musts in the program”. I do not agree. Page 58 and 59 alone say that if I want to recover:
- I must thoroughly follow this path
- I must give myself completely to this program
- I must be honest with myself
- I must go to any lengths
- I must let go absolutely
- I must not rely on half measures
The final must is doing all twelve steps because all twelve are the program of recovery the book has to offer.
I stood at the turning point in April 1999. I accepted then and still hold the belief today that I am a food addict as defined in the chapter “The Doctor’s Opinion”. That the solution to my problem of food abuse is through the Twelve Steps and a deeper connection with my higher power.
It is important to note here that this program is based on self diagnosis. I cannot tell a person that they are a compulsive eater. In fact, in the chapter “Working With Others” on page 92, as a person who is trying to help another I have to allow that person to convince ME that they are compulsive with food. I do not convince them.
The rest of the steps require that I live a disciplined life. I will need to face uncomfortable truths about myself and I will have to respond differently to life than I did before. I am entering a period where I am going to be tough with myself, and I need to know that I am not a horrible person while I am in the middle of it. God gives me that gift. He allows me to be human, no better and no worse than the next person. I have seen the same gift given to the people I have mentored through the steps.
From this point I am not going to try to convince you to believe. A person is either willing or not willing, and I have learned that I cannot change that. I do hope you will keep reading, try a meeting because maybe someone else can explain it better than me or, at the very least, that you will remember this could solve your problem with food.
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19 – Hard Truth – OA Dandelion
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