Embracing a New Path to Recovery
Recovery is rarely a straight line. It’s often a winding road filled with resistance, revelations, and the gradual surrender of old beliefs. Joseph Campbell once said, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” This sentiment resonates deeply with those of us in recovery, especially when facing the spiritual shift required by the Twelve Steps. In this post, I want to share my experience with Steps 1 and 2 in Overeaters Anonymous (OA), the mental roadblocks I encountered, and how I came to embrace a concept of a higher power that made recovery possible.
Understanding the Two-Fold Illness
In Step 1, we confront the reality of a two-fold illness: physical and mental. While the physical aspect is straightforward—I only react to certain foods when I eat them—the mental component is far more insidious. My brain consistently finds ways to justify eating the very foods that trigger my addiction. The real problem lies not in the food itself, but in the mental obsession that precedes the physical reaction.
The Powerlessness of Step 1
OA and AA literature emphasize that we are “powerless” over our addiction. Step 1 is about accepting that truth. Step 2 then invites us to look beyond ourselves—and beyond human aid—for the power to recover. This idea is often where people begin to drift away from OA and the Twelve Steps. It’s uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and for many, spiritually confronting.
The Weight of the First Two Steps
The Big Book dedicates 103 pages to explaining how to work the Twelve Steps—not including “The Doctor’s Opinion.” Of those, the first 62 pages are devoted entirely to Steps 1 and 2. That’s more than half the book focused on describing the problem and our powerlessness, all in an effort to prepare us to embrace a higher power. I believe the authors knew this would be the hardest part of the journey for many of us.
Common Roadblocks to Acceptance
When I first came into OA, I carried a lot of resistance. Here are some of the thoughts and beliefs that stood in my way:
- I just need more willpower
- If I just tried harder, I could lose the weight
- I’m not good enough
- Religious people are self-righteous
- If there is a God, He isn’t concerned with my food problem
- Why does “God” have to be a man?!
- Why do they always make Jesus look Caucasian?
These beliefs created a wall between me and the spiritual solution offered in the program.
The “Brand New Idea” in Bill’s Story
The concept of a personal higher power is first introduced on page 12 of the Big Book, in “Bill’s Story.” Bill is visited by a sober friend—Ebby—who used to drink with him. On page 9, Ebby announces, “I’ve got religion,” and Bill spends the next few pages wrestling with the idea of God. Despite his skepticism, he can’t ignore Ebby’s calm and joyful sobriety.
Then comes the pivotal moment: Ebby says, “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” This “Brand New Idea” opened the door for Bill—and later, for me.
Creating My Own Conception of a Higher Power
My first sponsor asked me to write down my concept of a higher power. I couldn’t align with traditional Christian ideas of God, so I started with nature—sunrises, changing seasons—forces clearly greater than myself. I also imagined my higher power as having the qualities I value in a good friend: someone I could talk to and trust.
I told myself that this power cared about my addiction and would help me stop abusing food. Over time, my concept evolved, but those original qualities remain. This personalized higher power helped me recover, and I believe anyone willing to broaden their perspective can find recovery too.
Spiritual Resistance—Religious or Not
Interestingly, I’ve found that people with religious beliefs often struggle just as much with this part of the program as those without any belief at all. The issue isn’t belief—it’s reliance. Many don’t actively depend on their spiritual beliefs when it comes to food addiction.
An Invitation to Reflect
I invite you to explore your beliefs and feelings around the idea of God, Higher Power, or spiritual connection. Ask yourself:
- What concept am I willing to start with? (It’s ok to define what it is not too).
- If I have a religious belief, am I willing to rely on it for recovery?
Recovery begins with openness. Whether your higher power is traditional, abstract, or deeply personal, the willingness to connect is what makes healing possible.
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