“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell
I have tried to explain that in Step 1 we have a two-fold illness; physical and mental. Though the problem we have is two pronged, the real problem centers in our brains. I only have a physical reaction to certain foods when I eat them, so if I never eat my addictive foods I would be fine. The problem is, my brain always finds a way to give me the green light.
The OA and AA literature asserts that “we are powerless” in Step 1. Step 2, is accepting that I need to look beyond myself and human aid for the power to recover from my illness.
This idea is not popular and tends to be the first place people drift away from OA and the 12 Steps.
Not including “The Doctor’s Opinion” there are 103 pages on how to do the steps in the Big Book. Steps 1 and 2 take up the first 62 pages. 62 pages of describing the problem and how hopeless we are, trying to help us understand that we are powerless so that we will embrace a higher power. 62 pages is more than half. I have been taught, and believe, that the writers understood this solution would not be embraced.
These are some of the road blocks I had when I came into OA:
- I just need more willpower
- If I just tried harder I could lose the weight
- I’m not good enough
- Religious people are self-righteous
- If there is a God, he isn’t concerned with my food problem
- Why does “God” have to be a man?!!
- Why do they always make Jesus look Caucasian?
The “Brand New Idea” is first introduced on page 12 of the Big Book, in “Bill’s Story”. Bill is drunk and has a buddy over who used to party with him but now is sober…and happy about his sobriety. Bill’s friend’s name is not mentioned in the book, but his name is Ebby.
Going backwards in Bill’s Story to page 9, Ebby announces “I’ve got religion”. From there Bill wrestles with the idea of religion and God for 3 pages. His mind is closed, but he cannot ignore that his friend is calm and happily sober. Then on page 12, Bill explains that despite the evidence before him, he still carried negative feelings about a Christian God. Ebby presents him with the “Brand New Idea” and says “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?”
My first sponsor asked me to write down my concept of a higher power. I just could not get on board with Christian concepts of God. My higher power was nature (seasons changing and sunrise were definitely powers greater than me). I also felt I needed my higher power to have the qualities I valued in a good friend, so I would be willing to talk to it, and listen. I also told myself that I believed my higher power was concerned with my addiction, and I had faith that it would try to stop me from abusing.
My belief has changed over the years but still includes these original qualities. I was able to recover using this concept. I believe anyone who is willing to broaden or open up to the idea of a higher power can recover as well.
It has been my experience that people who have a belief in God in a religious sense have as much trouble with this portion of the program as someone who has no belief or denies the existence of a higher power. Most often it is because they do not actively rely on the power where food is concerned.
I invite you to consider any beliefs and feelings you have around the idea of God/HP/god. Ask yourself what concept might work for you? If you have a religious belief, ask if you are willing to rely on that belief to find recovery.
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