As you read my posts you will notice that I refer mainly to the book Alcoholics Anonymous (aka the Big Book). I know many have challenges with this book that was written almost 100 years ago. So why do I make this my primary resource for working the steps?
The book is written for alcoholics by alcoholics. Why are you using it for compulsive eaters?
In my story you will hear how my first sponsor took me through the steps based on her knowledge of the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (aka OA 12 & 12). I was able to recover going through the steps this way, so I am not dismissing OA literature whatsoever. Though my recovery was good enough, I did not develop a deep understanding of my illness. This means I did not understand why I needed to continue working on the steps and applying the principles to my life.
It was at a Big Book study weekend that my recovery leveled up. I went from good enough recovery to the steps being the center of my life.
I was taught how the Big Book was the original text and how all Twelve Step groups grew out of the ideas put forward in that book. I observed that the Big Book provided clear directions on how to do the steps. My Big Book sponsor expected me to read the text, then we discussed it in detail when we met. Our meetings focused on how to apply the directions in my life.
My first sponsor said I should read it the OA book, but she was not reading it herself. Other than looking at the step 4 questions, we did not open the book together.
I felt fired up about the steps and program after that Big Book study weekend and ongoing work with my sponsor. The deep meaningful spiritual awakening I had with the Big Book made it my first true love.
Perhaps the differences between my first sponsor and my second Big Book sponsor was more about their personalities and preferences. I am sure there are OA members who base their recovery around the OA Twelve Steps and Traditions book, and who have a deep meaningful recovery. My path was through the Big Book
The language is sexist. How are you not offended?
There is a poem by Adrienne Rich where she says “this is the oppressor’s language // yet I need it to talk to you”.
I identify as a feminist, as brown and as a woman. Before I even joined OA I understood that language was important, that it was not mine, and that I had to learn how to use it differently than the way it was used with me and against me. Before recovery I had to discern what I was hearing and the intent of the speaker.
When presented with a book that was written at a time when it was acceptable to speak of women as “the little wife” I was able to look past the words alone and gain an understanding of the intent.
For example – As recently as a few months ago a colleague referred to me as mulatto. I knew her intention was not to insult me, that she did not understand the historical significance or meaning of the word. I calmly explained to her mulatto was a slave term, I explained that the root of the word was mule, and that the people who contrived the word essentially thought the people they brought from Africa as slaves were not human (or less than human). She will likely never use the word again. My alternative could have been to write her off as a racist and never speak to her again.
The only difference between my colleague and the writers of this book is that she is still alive and able to modify or change. The authors of the book cannot rewrite it.
Those who wrote the book were using what we now feel is oppressive language because that is what they knew. As I studied the book I could see the places they acknowledge their shortcomings and even plead with the reader to see past their language. I feel they knew that even though they were trying to speak inclusively that they were still falling short. I was, and still am left with the feeling that if they knew better they would have done better.
My Big Book sponsor had a dictionary that was published around the same time as Alcoholics Anonymous, and we would discuss how the meaning of words had changed from the 1930s.
The Christian language is overbearing. How can you allow yourself to be brainwashed?
The posts regarding Step 2 will (I hope) show that Overeaters Anonymous and the Twelve Steps are a spiritual program, not a religious one. My Big Book sponsor, LC, is an agnostic. When he mentored me through the steps I knew his understanding of a higher power were truth, beauty and justice. My own original conception was nature and the qualities I would want in a good friend. We both gained solid recovery on these very different ideas, and could talk about spirituality with ease.
I was not pressured into a specific conception. I was not even pressured into a spiritual way of life. I can choose not to believe the way this book explains/defines the nature of my illness or the steps for recovery.
I have heard OA referred to as the last house on the block. Meaning that a person has tried everything and nothing worked, and OA is the last choice. I don’t believe that is true. There is always another choice (another diet or another exercise program).
My reasons for choosing to use The Big Book.
- The way the Big Book explains the nature of the illness makes good sense when I reflect on my own history with food.
- The directions are straight forward.
- I have not found any contradictory messages in the directions in the Big Book. From people in the fellowship, yes, but not from the book.
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation.” – Herbert Spencer (Appendix II – “Spiritual Experience” – Alcoholics Anonymous).
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