When I take someone through the steps, I try to meet them where they are. Most of the people I work with are like me in that they overeat, either bingers or volume addicts. As we work on identifying trigger foods and behaviors we also work on their own healthy relationship with the foods they can eat and the meal plan that will work best for them. I also encourage them to seek professional input if they wish.
It is my experience that we are not a “One Diet Fits All” group of people. Please check out OA.Org and their pamphlet called “A New Plan of Eating“. One size did not fit all at clothing stores, so why would one food plan?
I had 7 days from my first earth shattering meeting until I attended my second meeting the following Sunday. I went to the gym four times that week, and hit the drive through right after my workout and super-sized every time. I also hit up convenience stores for my favorite snacks to carry me to the end of my shift at work.
At that second meeting I met two women, TS and CPC, who I thought would be good options to ask to sponsor me.
I left the second meeting on less of a cloud than my first, I am almost certain that I hit a drive through or a convenience store on my way to work. That evening TS called me and shared a bit of her story, asked me some questions and then suggested I write a history of my eating. I thanked her for calling and proceeded to do nothing but the same thing I had done the week before (hitting up drive throughs and convenience stores). I think I was a bit more aware of what I was doing and that something was going to change soon, but I can’t say for sure.
When I attended my third meeting TS was at the meeting, but CPC was not. Though I actually preferred CPC, I asked TS because I kept hearing that I needed to pick someone and start working on the steps.
TS and I set up a weekly 15-20 minute call where she would give me my assignments. She also gave me her pager number and said I could call her anytime that I thought I might eat.
I left my third meeting, probably hit the convenience store or drive through, and went to work. After work, I stopped at a store and picked up a notebook (my new sponsor said a notebook would be a good thing to have) and then went home and wrote my eating history.
That Wednesday I read her my eating history. My next homework assignment was to write the foods that I binged on. The following Wednesday I shared my trigger foods.
When I finished sharing my trigger foods my sponsor said that our problem was compulsive eating, and that in order to not be compulsive I had to eat 3 meals a day only, no snacking. She also said that my trigger foods made me want to eat compulsively, so I was not to eat them whatsoever. I agreed to start the next day. She said “No. You start now.”
So 4 weeks in OA, and halfway through a day when I had already compulsively ate, I started abstaining from my addictive foods.
I feel that my first sponsor was the right person for me. She had what I wanted – relief from abusing food. She had recovered and had already lost 100 pounds. She understood how to guide me in those early days. Right after she told me to only eat three times a day, she told me not to restrict myself too much at each meal time. She asked me to eat until I was full, not count calories, and know that as my stomach shrunk, I would naturally want to eat less.
I followed TS’s instructions and only ate 3 times a day that first week, the following week I had to make a slight change and break my breakfast into two meals, eating a fruit before working out, and the rest of my breakfast after my workout. I let her know if I ate my whole breakfast before, I felt sick and/or sluggish. If I didn’t eat anything before, because my fitness class was at 9:30, I felt too hungry and ate too much later. She validated me, therefore helping me to start developing a healthy relationship with the foods that I could eat.
Over the years my food plan has changed. I became aware that I am a volume addict, so I do have to measure my food at times. In recovery I started teaching fitness classes and needed to modify my meal times and how often I ate. Right now I follow a 301 plan (3 meals a day – 0 (nothing) in between – 1 day at a time). I have changed my food plan to ensure I am able to stay abstinent through various life changes.
I have observed for myself and with the people I work with, the best way to get abstinent is to just make a clean break from the foods and behaviors that trigger the cycle of food abuse. If we are still eating a trigger food, we are going to trigger the physical response. Once triggered, we are at the mercy of our addiction because we don’t know when we will be able or willing to stop.
A clean break is best, followed by getting through the steps. The steps are the path to freedom from the mental obsession.
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